21st Dec Ryann's first school bag

I have recently just joined an online spree for a remote control car. It is a camo army car. Ryann loves it. This naughty boy will climb up the car play with the steering wheel and the horns then come down. This 'up and down the car' process kept repeating itself. And when hubby control the car to move, he is not scare at all. The funny thing is, Rhys was the one who got scare when the car moves. I would think both of them will start fighting with each other on who to play with the car like they always fight for toys.

SIL brought an Elmo bag for Ryann. Small little back pack but i doubt Ryann would want to carry that. Most likely is mummy going to carry it. Lucky she didnt buy Barney if not i sure headache. Must make myself carry the 'purple gay dino' out. =p

Brought Grand pa out to pray to granny and lunch at TPY swimming complex. Our all time favourite taiwan porridge relocated there from Oasis. After which we brought him for a walk in the park and saw this cute little turtle climbing the trees. Caught it on camera. What a sight.

20th Dec Signing up for GUG suntec 2pm sunday class

Finally we sign GUG for Ryann to try for 1 term. Was procrastinating for quite some time. Trio's classes was my first choice actually but their timing doesn't suit me at all.

Initially i was really tempted not to sign for both since Ryann is going to start playgroup in Mar next year. But since GUG's 1 term is from Jan - Feb. Why not send him there to try out first?

They gave a GUG bag in er.... not so nice colour =p And a list of how to teach Zoophonics.

Will share Zoo phonics details soon.

Going to buy a bag for Ryann to bring to school. Maybe an Elmo bag will be good. =p

19th Dec New bed sheet for Ryann

Went to fetch Ryann back from my mum's place. Usually i will ask him to wear his shoes and walk home. But today when i ask him where is his shoe shoe? He went over to his stroller, climb up and sit on the stroller waiting for us to belt him up. Smart boy, he know got stroller means no need walk home = no need shoe.

Since we are not going to celebrate CNY, might as well change the bedsheets to the new one we brought some time back.

Brand new baby blue Wall- E bedsheet for Ryann.

Funny thing is this boy doesnt recognise his bed anymore after the change and he didnt dare to go down from my bed at first. He sat on my bed and look at his unfamiliar bed color.
Finally he went down on one leg first, test the stability of the bed, then the other leg and started dancing on the spot. I think he is trying to test the bed.... BTH.

Ryann is always the 'medicine' to help me destress.

17th Dec Ryann's updates recently

some pictures over the 2 weeks....

Family pic with extended family from my mother side at my cousins wedding

Pics with Ryann and hubby
Qin mei zu ma cousins. We were always in pairs last time.

Gals power...

This is the face every time Ryann will make whenever we scold him. See his face like that so funny, i dun think i am angry anymore.

Cute litte Ryann.

Learning to hold a pen. He seems to use his left hand more often but both me and hubby are right handed....

Enjoying his rocking giraffe ride.

Just to share, Tooth fairy gave Ryann a christmas gift... His 2 front teeth. =p Finally i saw something white coming out from his front gums.

Ryann loves going out recently. When i say gai gai wear shoe shoe... he will take his shoes and pass them to me to wear for him. His little feet grew abit and thus we were looking for shoes for him. He will cry if we take his shoes off whenever we were just trying if the shoe fits him.

He was also caught playing with Hubby's psp. With his fingers at the right place still....

Ryann never fail to spice up my tired day.

16th Dec Finally every thing is over

A very tiring and long week we had. From daily visiting to woodlands to cousin's wedding to granny's funeral. Finally we had all things settled and i am going back to work tomorrow.

Just some short updates, will post pics later on.
Before granny pass away, I managed to attend 2 weddings. First was Ray and Clarisse. My colleagues from Amore fitness. They were both aerobics instructors and Clarisse took the Kickboxing instructor course together with me. We didn't expect both to be together and get married eventually but i guess Love is unpredictable.

My 'Qin mei zu ma' cousin finally got married with his girlfriend Valerie on the 9th of Dec too. We had a great time. At the same time, it was Uncle Lawrence's birthday. Will show some pics later.

Granny pass away in her sleep on Wednesday 10th Dec in the afternoon. I was still planning to visit her after work that day. The last time i visited her was on Friday. Sat and Sun i went for wedding dinner. Monday and Tuesday Ryann was having fever and thus I didn't visit her. I really regretted not doing so.

When i reached Woodlands. All i saw was her cold body. Her face no longer have the rosy and chubby cheeks. Her face all sunken in and she really don't look like her anymore. Tears filled our eyes. Everyone tried to act as normal as we could but still the pain just filled the house. Grandpa cried as well but he is a man of little words. We all know he must be feeling really sad. While waiting for the doctor to come, more uncles, aunties and cousins came along. All weep at the sight of granny. We know we should be happy that finally granny is not suffering anymore but still no words can describe the pain of losing someone so close.

The next few days was busy at the wake. As hubby is the eldest grandson, we will need to be involved in all the rituals performed together with my father in law. We were also really busy serving all those relatives and friends who came to pay respect at the wake. The wake was grand and filled with lots of relatives and friends. The altar was filled with flowers send by some friends and business associates.

On the last day of the wake. the band came and started playing some songs, we started to be teary already. All of us were weeping silently. It was raining a little but we still proceed to send granny the last journey out of the block. As we walk together along the streets, we just weep uncontrollably. We hold on to each other and just cry out loud. Grand pa was crying too but because chinese believe that husband or parents cannot be present during their wife or children's cremation, he was left behind with the maid at home.

Cremation process was really peaceful unlike before. All we had was a viewing room and an automated moving machine. Xiao Gu, Heng yi (Youngest Cousin) and Sister in law broke down.

We went to collect her ashes the next day and its all over just like that. We are only left with a box of ashes. We will never get to see granny again unless in our dreams. As I write now, tears filled my eyes. We will miss granny always. I miss the cute granny who was biting her drumstick and asking me why am i giving her a angbao (It was her 80th birthday just recently) I miss the granny who was playing with Ryann in the hospital. I miss granny who asked hubby if he had finish NS when hubby is already 30 years old. I miss granny when her eyes just brighten up at the sight of durians just like a child seeing ice creams or sweets.

In Loving Memory of Granny/Ryann's Great Grand Granny Nov 1927 - Dec 2008

More Ryann's update tomorrow. Need to rest already... Super tired week.

Will blog from next week onwards

A number of friends asked me how come i have not be blogging these few days. I usually blog almost everyday.

Have been travelling to and fro bugis, woodlands and punggol everyday to visit granny in law.

She passed away peacefully on wednesday. Thus i would not be able to blog till next week after all the issues at the wake are settled.

Wake will be at Block 839 Woodlands st 82. Will leave for Mandai on Sunday 2pm.

Thanks for all the concerns.Hubby and family are doing fine.

2th Dec Ryann's prevnar jab and our sad woodlands visit.

Brought Ryann to PD for Prevnar jab today. Ryann cried badly during the jab. It must be painful. Ryann is 10.8kg and 78 - 79cm tall (he was practically struggling to break free thus not sure if it is 78 or 79) I have checked with doc Tan over certain issues.

Ryann does not maintain eye contact regularly with us. Doc Tan said so far as she talks Ryann is looking at her so shouldn't be a problem. Ryann must at least responds to 3 main things such as bye bye, high 5 and clap hands which Ryann knows but he only does that when he is in mood.
Regarding MMR, she said that i can have a choice to delay it latest by 2 yrs old. Thus I am going to do just that.
As for his milestones, Doc Tan wants us to read through the health booklet and try to encourage and teach Ryann those items stated in the health booklet for 15 months to 18 months.
But she did mention that boys are usually slower then girls.

We made a trip down to Granny's house at Woodlands this evening. Almost all the relatives turn up today, Granny is very weak and may leave us anytime. She do not have the strength to talk or move anymore. She lost her ability to swallow too thus she is not allowed to drink or eat at all. High fever above 39 degrees constantly and never came down. Her whole face is red and her body is burning hot. She have to rely on the oxygen machine to assist her with the breathing. We couldn't do anything except to keep sponging her to try to bring the temperature down. From 7 plus to 11pm, I didn't stop sponging her but her temperature remained at 39 degrees.

The elders started asking for our Chinese name to be written down for the Obituary. Photo have been chosen. We started choosing her favourite clothes to be wore on her. We already cut the pockets of the pants. We have all materially prepared for the worse but frankly speaking, our hearts are not ready yet.

Pain still linger in our hearts. Tears still row in our eyes. 'Er Gu' couldn't take it but to cry out. Some weap silently. It is painful no doubt but to make it worse is when we know she is feeling terrible but we couldn't do anything about it. Of cos grand pa must be the person who feel the pain the most. They were married for more then 60 years. They were so loving to each other. On my ROM, grandpa was even wiping granny's sweat. They were the most loving old couple i have even seen. I dun even see that in my own family.

Although, I am only with this family for about 3.5 years. But I still feel for her just like my own granny. Her friendly smile and her occasional blur look is still clear in my mind but i no longer see them anymore.

As we tried to wipe her clean and change into one of her favourite top, we could feel the body heat. Her body is all swollen due to water retention and that causes her arms to feel like there are water bags in them. As we turn her over, we could literally feel the smell of the heat from his back. Her sores on her buttocks were bleeding. We changed her bandage and diapers. Wipe her clean and apply powder.

Sometimes, i really wonder if we are ready to face death or not. This long process of dying seems like never ending. Time passes so slowly. It is painful for her and also painful for her love ones. I always thought it would be better if she lessen her pain but going off smoothly and faster. But some one told me before. To us, we experience pain of losing 1 person in our life. But to her, she lost every one. All i hope is she will go with no misery and pain. And i hope grandpa will be able to take it well.

30th Nov Ryann fell down and got himself bruises on his cheeks

I was in the toilet when suddenly i heard Ryann's cries and my hubby's running footstep. I knew Ryann had fell from his cries. I run out from the toilet and saw Ryann's cheek with a red patch.From his cries, I think he fell quite hard this time Immediately, i can see the blue black bruise surface on his cheek. Hubby must have been watching tv and didn't realize Ryann had wandered into the room. Poor Ryann.

Poor Mummy too. Woke up with aches on my left anterior deltoids and was feverish. Went to see doctor and i was shivering really badly then. 38.5 degrees. Mastitis again. This is the 3rd time i got mastitis through out my breast feeding journey and i hate it. Body aches, feverish, shivers and drop in supply. Doc advice me to stop breast feeding. Since i am already planning to stop before CNY, should i just take this opportunity to stop then? Well, i really don't know if i should or not. I guess over the 14.5 months of breastfeeding, it became a routine in my life already. Thus i have mixed feelings over stopping breast feeding. Lets see how it goes since i have 2 more months to go before CNY.

Caught Ryann dancing while watching Elmo's world. Video downsized thus not so clear.

28th Nov Ryann knock his forehead but it made him smarter

Ryann like to walk under the dining table since young. Ever since he was on his walker, he like to go under the table.

As he grew taller, he cant walk under the dining table with out hitting his head.
He attempt to walk under the table but hit his fore head 2 times. But he became smarter after that, now he tuck in his chin to tilt his head down so that he can walk in without hitting his head. So gui ling jing.

27th nov Mummy is on TV

Today Boss wanted me to go to WDA certified service professional course (Service Quality centre) to do some visiting. I know media will be there to do filming but i didn't know they will be interviewing me. OMG. And it is a mandarin channel. My mandarin is not very fluent. I really panic lor. I was at a wedding dinner thus wasn't able to view the news but sms came in from my friends and relative that they saw me on TV. My legs really jelly. Phew.

http://video2.channelnewsasia.com/cnavideos/chineseplayer.asp?skin=Player1.swf&player=chineseplayer.swf&filename=xin_ch_thu14.flv

I hope i don't look fat.

Went for wedding dinner of a distant relative from my in law family. Only to realize the groom who is hubby's cousin is my school mate. During the Yam Seng session, Ryann started crying due to the loud sound. So poor thing. He only slept at 11.20pm lor. And for the first time, his diaper leaked and my skirt is all wet. Luckily it only happen on our way home.

Overall the wedding was really great. Food was not bad. The organizing of the wedding was so smooth. Make me think of my wedding's mess. Their animation was the one i wanted but couldn't get a slot as she was fully booked. Their love story was similar to ours.Their proposal was romantic. My hubby didn't even propose to me before. =( They had live pianist and 2 singers who had great voices. bubbles for march in. Wedding posters specially made. Overall wonderful. I miss those times when i do wedding co-ordination. Those were the days.