Brought Ryann to PD for Prevnar jab today. Ryann cried badly during the jab. It must be painful. Ryann is 10.8kg and 78 - 79cm tall (he was practically struggling to break free thus not sure if it is 78 or 79) I have checked with doc Tan over certain issues.
Ryann does not maintain eye contact regularly with us. Doc Tan said so far as she talks Ryann is looking at her so shouldn't be a problem. Ryann must at least responds to 3 main things such as bye bye, high 5 and clap hands which Ryann knows but he only does that when he is in mood.
Regarding MMR, she said that i can have a choice to delay it latest by 2 yrs old. Thus I am going to do just that.
As for his milestones, Doc Tan wants us to read through the health booklet and try to encourage and teach Ryann those items stated in the health booklet for 15 months to 18 months.
But she did mention that boys are usually slower then girls.
We made a trip down to Granny's house at Woodlands this evening. Almost all the relatives turn up today, Granny is very weak and may leave us anytime. She do not have the strength to talk or move anymore. She lost her ability to swallow too thus she is not allowed to drink or eat at all. High fever above 39 degrees constantly and never came down. Her whole face is red and her body is burning hot. She have to rely on the oxygen machine to assist her with the breathing. We couldn't do anything except to keep sponging her to try to bring the temperature down. From 7 plus to 11pm, I didn't stop sponging her but her temperature remained at 39 degrees.
The elders started asking for our Chinese name to be written down for the Obituary. Photo have been chosen. We started choosing her favourite clothes to be wore on her. We already cut the pockets of the pants. We have all materially prepared for the worse but frankly speaking, our hearts are not ready yet.
Pain still linger in our hearts. Tears still row in our eyes. 'Er Gu' couldn't take it but to cry out. Some weap silently. It is painful no doubt but to make it worse is when we know she is feeling terrible but we couldn't do anything about it. Of cos grand pa must be the person who feel the pain the most. They were married for more then 60 years. They were so loving to each other. On my ROM, grandpa was even wiping granny's sweat. They were the most loving old couple i have even seen. I dun even see that in my own family.
Although, I am only with this family for about 3.5 years. But I still feel for her just like my own granny. Her friendly smile and her occasional blur look is still clear in my mind but i no longer see them anymore.
As we tried to wipe her clean and change into one of her favourite top, we could feel the body heat. Her body is all swollen due to water retention and that causes her arms to feel like there are water bags in them. As we turn her over, we could literally feel the smell of the heat from his back. Her sores on her buttocks were bleeding. We changed her bandage and diapers. Wipe her clean and apply powder.
Sometimes, i really wonder if we are ready to face death or not. This long process of dying seems like never ending. Time passes so slowly. It is painful for her and also painful for her love ones. I always thought it would be better if she lessen her pain but going off smoothly and faster. But some one told me before. To us, we experience pain of losing 1 person in our life. But to her, she lost every one. All i hope is she will go with no misery and pain. And i hope grandpa will be able to take it well.
Ryann does not maintain eye contact regularly with us. Doc Tan said so far as she talks Ryann is looking at her so shouldn't be a problem. Ryann must at least responds to 3 main things such as bye bye, high 5 and clap hands which Ryann knows but he only does that when he is in mood.
Regarding MMR, she said that i can have a choice to delay it latest by 2 yrs old. Thus I am going to do just that.
As for his milestones, Doc Tan wants us to read through the health booklet and try to encourage and teach Ryann those items stated in the health booklet for 15 months to 18 months.
But she did mention that boys are usually slower then girls.
We made a trip down to Granny's house at Woodlands this evening. Almost all the relatives turn up today, Granny is very weak and may leave us anytime. She do not have the strength to talk or move anymore. She lost her ability to swallow too thus she is not allowed to drink or eat at all. High fever above 39 degrees constantly and never came down. Her whole face is red and her body is burning hot. She have to rely on the oxygen machine to assist her with the breathing. We couldn't do anything except to keep sponging her to try to bring the temperature down. From 7 plus to 11pm, I didn't stop sponging her but her temperature remained at 39 degrees.
The elders started asking for our Chinese name to be written down for the Obituary. Photo have been chosen. We started choosing her favourite clothes to be wore on her. We already cut the pockets of the pants. We have all materially prepared for the worse but frankly speaking, our hearts are not ready yet.
Pain still linger in our hearts. Tears still row in our eyes. 'Er Gu' couldn't take it but to cry out. Some weap silently. It is painful no doubt but to make it worse is when we know she is feeling terrible but we couldn't do anything about it. Of cos grand pa must be the person who feel the pain the most. They were married for more then 60 years. They were so loving to each other. On my ROM, grandpa was even wiping granny's sweat. They were the most loving old couple i have even seen. I dun even see that in my own family.
Although, I am only with this family for about 3.5 years. But I still feel for her just like my own granny. Her friendly smile and her occasional blur look is still clear in my mind but i no longer see them anymore.
As we tried to wipe her clean and change into one of her favourite top, we could feel the body heat. Her body is all swollen due to water retention and that causes her arms to feel like there are water bags in them. As we turn her over, we could literally feel the smell of the heat from his back. Her sores on her buttocks were bleeding. We changed her bandage and diapers. Wipe her clean and apply powder.
Sometimes, i really wonder if we are ready to face death or not. This long process of dying seems like never ending. Time passes so slowly. It is painful for her and also painful for her love ones. I always thought it would be better if she lessen her pain but going off smoothly and faster. But some one told me before. To us, we experience pain of losing 1 person in our life. But to her, she lost every one. All i hope is she will go with no misery and pain. And i hope grandpa will be able to take it well.
4 comments:
Hi Phoebe,
I can feel the sorrow too after reading this post. For weak-hearted person like me, I will surely burst into tears, seeing such a kind old lady suffering in pain.
I've witnessed my own grandmother's long battle with cervical cancer.. how she lost all her hair due to the chemo, she lost so much weight that she can barely walk.. it was so heart-wrenching... In the end, she lost the battle... Although we missed her so much, but on the other hand, we are glad that she can finally end her suffering and pain..
Your grandpa needs lots of support from the family now...
very touching entry.
thanks for sharing.
Look at it on the brighter side ... at least she does not need to suffer anymore after that.
Btw, out of curiousity, why need to cut the pockets of the pants?
take care Phoebe.
Its nv easy to let go someone so dear... but looking at her sufferings, it might be beta. Be with ur grandpa, he needs u all too.
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