22nd Oct Day 2 without pacifier

Yippee. Day 2 WON!!! no pacifier. Today he seems to know that he will not be given the pacifier anymore, he fell asleep pretty fast. Maybe because of the medicine too. We must be persistent in not giving him the pacifier even when he is outside making noise. Hopefully i will be able to tahan him on sunday without pacifier.

Caught Ryann on video on how he walk today. He could walk pretty well already but still will fall at times. This was taken after medicine and he is feeling a bit blur already but still he managed to walk a longer distance then usual.

Ryann is still having block nose but his cough only got abit worse at night. Most likely will monitor for another day, if still no progress then i will bring him to Doc Tan on Friday. Maybe at the same time we can do a assessment and book for prevnar jab appointment. Some mummies told me that this jab will cause fever. I cross my fingers on that. Hopefully Ryann will not.

21st Oct Day 1 without Pacifier

Tri tried not to give Ryann pacifier for the last 2 days during the afternoon. So far is okay. Maybe it is also due to the medicine that distracted him. Today is the first day we are trying not to give pacifier for the whole day including the night. At first Ryann seems like waiting for something. Eyes were much more awake then usual. He will occasionally attempt to come near us as though he is waiting for us to give him his pacifier. Soon he got tired and fell asleep.

DAY 1 WON!!! Yippee!

Took a day off today and did spring cleaning for my store room and Ryann's birthday gift.

Finally fixed up the racks

Tried on some of my pre- preggy clothes. Manage to fit into some but still need to lose more to go back to my pre preggy size.
I am going to start exercising regularly. Once is not enough. Hopefully i can use lunch time to go for a fast run. My aim is at least 3 times a week. Need to watch my diet too. Still considering whether to stop breast feeding totally or continue on.

Pack up Ryann's walker, 2 bouncer, play gym and his birthday pressies. Going to keep the cot soon as well since i am going to buy a new 4 tier chest drawer for Ryann's clothes etc. Found the pack of vacuum storage bags and thus tried it using the cot mosquito net. I simply love it so much. Save space and keep the things inside clean. Should have brought more. Thank God for this creation.

Before with the huge mosquito net inside the bag.

Amazingly flat and saving of space. I am loving it.

Things to do:

1. Maths Flashcards - date line - mid Nov
2. decide on GUG or Trio - End of Oct
3. Prevnar Jab before class start.
4. Get my exercise schedule up. - Next week
5. Contact shortlisted playgroup. - mid Nov

More to go........

20th Oct New books for Ryann but he is not interested

Brought new books for Ryann so that i can try to introduce reading to him again. Brought this 3 minute nursery rhyme book, the wheels on the bus book and a gigantic big book : The gingerbread man. Was hoping the big book will catch his attention but he wasn't very much interested in them. Will keep trying, hopefully will get his attention soon.

Today is a bad day for me. No words can describe how i feel about my work now. Drain up, tired, demoralized, not motivated, frustrated, unhappy are just not enough to describe me now.
I think i need a break but at this moment of time, i can't. I am lost and i hate to feel this way. I felt that i need directions. I need time, energy and motivation to continue moving on. Not the problem with the company in general but the problem with the people. Not that the work load is too heavy for me to handle but it is the mental stress that i am facing. I felt like i am carrying 100kg of load on my shoulders but yet none of my staff are sharing the load.
As a manager, not only i have to manage the business and operations, i have to be a counsellor to them. I felt that i care for them more then they care for themselves and thus i got more worried. Every day i felt like a mother hen trying to chase after my little chicks not to do this, must eat something, must take care of your health ...... Maybe i think too much. Maybe i should just let go and draw a line between staff and myself. It is going to be tough as they are all like my closest friends. I hope i do not need to be a mother hen anymore. If only they understand how much they mean to me and how important they are in my life. They are not just my staff, my colleagues but they are my friends.

19th Oct Ryann having fever

Phew.... After the war last night, i couldn't take it anymore thus i went over to mum's place so that i could sleep for a while. Slept in the afternoon woke up still feeling tired but have to wake up to pump milk. Ryann seems to have caught a cold. Running nose and slight cough with no phlegm. Was suppose to bring Ryann out to meet Ailin and Ping for dinner but end up Ryann vomited his porridge thus we decided not to go.

Only manage to go to Ikea to buy the shelves for our store room. But we couldn't get the Maxi cab to transport those stuff back for us. Was stranded there for a good 1 hour. Comfort taxi's system was down and thus we couldn't get through the line to get a cab again. Called Sis for help and luckily Bro in law drove to Ikea to fetch Ryann back first as he was running a temperature already. As for us, I approached this family who had a lorry and was going to sengkang.Luckily, they agreed to send us back. Thank God for this kind family. They definitely will receive God's blessing for being such a kind soul. Without them and of course most importantly God, i don't know what time i will be able to reach home.

18th Oct Mark and Jacqueline's wedding

I rushed all the way from work then back home to bath so that we could be on time for Mark and Jacq's wedding dinner. Had a bad day at work. Work have been frustrating maybe due to the '100kg of load' i am carrying all by myself. how i wish they could lighten my load a little. I have reached to a point whereby i am dragging my feet to work and i hate that feeling. I have given much thoughts of moving on but now is certainly not a good time. Maybe another 1-2 years time. Haiz.

Anyway, back to their wedding dinner. Morning hubby left home at 2.30am to Mark's house because they were suppose to fetch the bride at 4am!!!! This is the first time i have ever seen people fetching bride at 4am. So early. At night, the service was quite bad. Mark wasn't very happy about it too. The food was ok only. Nothing fantastic. They didn't have a emcee and thus the restaurant emcee took over and all the guest were laughing at her mandarin pronunciation xie xie became sek sek, yong jie tong xing became yong jei tong xing. I know we were rude to laugh but we couldn't help it. =p Frankly speaking, the whole thing was quite disorganized.

Ryann was bored again and he have got nothing to eat so end up we brought him a 'bao' to make him quietly sit in his high chair. He was quite cranky at the end of the dinner and fell asleep at 10pm but was woke up by their laughter and started crying. Ryann came back home with a bit of block nose. =(

In the middle of the night at 12 plus, Ryann kept crying and crying. I think he is teething and not forgetting together with his block nose. I applied the teething gel but it didn't work. Put him in the sarong also cry. He didn't sleep well last night all the way till 7 am!!! Both hubby and i were so tired. Hopefully this phrase will go soon.

17th Oct Ryann got scolded for not finishing his milk

During Ryann's last feed, he will usually hold his own bottle and finish his milk before he crawl down to his bed to sleep. Ryann was in his playful mood and he threw the bottle aside after he is full, leaving behind about 70ml from his 180ml. I turned him over but he keep struggling and he rejected the bottle. Took a few sips and then push the bottle away again. That's when i started telling him to finish his milk first in a very stern voice. He froze for awhile and started to drink his milk. Most of the time when he is 'hong sim' and refuse milk, mum will tell him off sternly and after which he will always finish his milk. I know he is able to finish it but he is just playful. Naughty Ryann.

Ryann is in his happy mood today. He was playing with the gold round cover for the formula milk. When we sang the wheels on the bus, he started turning the cover like it is a steering wheel so cute. Tri said he knew how to do it long ago. Make me feel quite sad that i didn't even know he could do that and i wasn't even the first one who could witness that. But i am still glad he was able to do that. Hopefully can get it on video.

Saw shulyn today, so happy that she is preggy with her little prince due in Jan next year. She look so different and i am so happy for her. Sharing preggy stories with her make me miss the time when Ryann is still in my tummy. That amazing feeling is so unforgettable. But i have discussed with hubby already. Number 2 will not come now. Wait till we are more stable financially and when we are ready. Hopefully by then i still have the energy to move on!

16th Oct Ryann seems to have bite himself

Ryann had this red mark on the internal part of his lips near his teeth. I guess he might have accidentally bite himself. So red. Hopefully it is not causing much pain.

Ryann today walk around quite a lot. He is standing well but he have this tendency to do heel raisers (Lift the heel up and down) like doing aerobics. =p
I still can remember when i was about 2 months pregnant i was still teaching aerobics. 2 class in the row some more. Maybe he sort of learned it from there. =p

When Ryann is still in my tummy, I expose him to quite a lot of loud and fast aerobics music. Maybe that could be the reason why Ryann is so super active and bad tempered. Wrong choice. My next baby must listen to Mozart. lolx!

15th Oct Granny in law in hospital

Today we received news that granny was admitted to hospital. Just last month, doc said that granny may leave us anytime. Thus with this news we were quite worried.

After work immediately rushed over to see her. Due to the medicine, she appears to be drowsy.Doc said is UTI. Plus her kidneys are failing thus she experience full body itchiness which was so unbearable that she didnt sleep well last night.

Hopefully she will get well soon.
By the time i reach home. Ryann is sleeping already. Haiz. One more day is gone just like that. Didnt even have time to talk to Ryann.

p/s: Stupid Omnia phone- black out once and Ryann's pictures went missing and gone! So mad with samsung!

14th Oct Ryann gave me the remote control!

Every time Ryann sees his milk bottle, he will go real excited and get himself ready by climbing up to my bed and lay beside the pillow. First thing he will do is to take his Tu Tu out of his mouth and when i said give mummy. He really put the Tu Tu on my hand. Usually he will throw his pacifier away. He will only put on your hand when he wake up from his nap in his sarong.

So to further test it, When he was playing with the remote control, i told him: "Give mummy." He really gave me the remote control. I am so happy he does that because he usually will disobey, hold on to the item tight and just refuse to let go. Though a little too late to understand give but i am still happy.

He was also able to put back the cap of the milk bottle and encouraging him does work for him as he was smiling so happily when i praised him and got him to do it a few more times.

These few days i have lots of thoughts in my mind. Maybe i am thinking too much but i really felt bad for not being able to find time for Ryann. Especially with my work load getting heavier these days. Often i only manage to leave office at 8pm because my work is piling up. With this economy downturn, we need to work extra hard. I have a lot of things i wish to do but i just couldn't find enough time. For some who may have the luxury of being able to leave work on time and spent time with their kiddos, i really envy you. When will it be my turn? When will i be able to flash cards to Ryann everyday and have bonding time with him everyday?

Hopefully i can get a to do list done up soon. I wasted 13 months already. Ryann will never be a baby forever. I must really work hard at work and at home. I can be a Super Mum!

13th Oct Ryann was too tired in the morning

Ryann couldn't wake up on time in the morning. He was sleeping so soundly when i went to snap a picture of him.

So cute.

Ryann is so lazy these 2 days. refuse to walk unassisted. Want to hold our hand like kor kor.

P/S: Overtime today again. So so tired. Sales is so bad. My salary is badly affected. Really must start to tie my pockets already. Hopefully sales get better. Did statistics today to analysis the situation. I really think the people are also tightening their pockets as the closing percentage is at its lowest recently. All i can do now is pray that every thing will run smoothly soon.