3rd Mar Overprotective parenting

As a manager, I will also have to play a role of a counsellor or mentor to my staff. Be it personal issues or work related issues. Work is never smooth sailing for sure. We will definitely meet into bumps and situations that may put us in a state whereby we feel helpless and frustrated why things doesn't turn out the way we wanted it to be.

Recently, a very close friend of mine was diagnosed with Anorexic and slight depression. She lost a lot of weight during this few months as she was not eating. All due to some setback in her relationship. Being in the health and fitness industry, I have seen many of such cases and the numbers are growing and the patients are getting younger and younger. This incident got me thinking if we have shelter our children too much and thus when the reality of the cruel world sets in, they are unable to take it well.

Back in those kampung days, our parents have to slough and work real hard so as to support the family as well. My mum had to quit her school so that she can work to earn money for my younger auntie's school fees. In order to make ends meet, even if they face any form of setback, they will still work hard to achieve what they want.

Nowadays, even people from my generation are usually very pampered. Many of my friends didn't have to and didn't know how to do housework needless to say cook at home. When we are in school, our parents still give us money and provide us with all that we need even if it might cost them the whole month salary. But when is a good age to let go? When is a good time to let them explore the reality world outside before being sheltered?

I have been reading some books by Anthony Robbins and one of them wrote:
'In every man and woman's life there comes a time of ultimate challenge - a time when every resource we have is tested. A time when life seems unfair. A time when our faith, our values, our patience, our compassion, our ability to persist, are all pushed to our limits and beyond.
Some people use such as tests as opportunity to become better people - others allow these experiences of life to destroy them.'

I couldn't agree more about it. In life there is no time for regrets. You only have time to make sure such regrets doesn't happen. These are values and strength that will not be taught in schools. These are skills that will move them wherever they are, whatever the problem they face. it all draws down to their attitude.

People who succeed do not have fewer problems than people who fail. It is not what happens to us that separates failures from successes. It is how we perceive it and what we do about what happen that make the difference.

During my teenage years (16 years old), my dad ever told me:" whatever you do, think properly and be responsible for your choices. Even if you fall, don't come home crying to me. Pick yourself up and move on. Crying doesn't solve the issue." I remember that night very clearly because that was what pull me through some times when i meet up with problems in life.

Now that i am a mother myself, I start to think about the right parenting style i should apply. Some parents tell me that toddlers wont understand what you are saying so no point be strict with them. Last time i might not understand this, but now i really have to disagree. I think toddlers are just as smart. They will sometimes test your limits. They understand what are the things they shouldn't do (but to them, understand doesn't mean must follow). If today you allow some things to happen, next time you tell them no, they will wonder why not. If you don't put a stop to such issues, there will be more to come, by the time you want to correct them, it may be too late. It might have already become habits.

I think there is not right or wrong ways on how to nurture the kids. It is usually based on the beliefs and the core values of the parent. I hope Ryann will grow up to be a healthy boy and some one who have the positive attitude to power him on when he face any obstacles that may come along.